i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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