I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
