alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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