Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
