Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
