omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Randomize
