In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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