He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
