my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
