I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
