This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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