his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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