can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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