I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
