What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
