This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize