i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
