She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
MIDGETS
????
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
