covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
