what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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