her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
