omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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