real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
