my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
She's the barista slut.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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