Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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