4 words: hood of his car
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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