Duck Duck Cougar?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Crop dusting thru forever 21
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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