redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
