He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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