Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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