what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
