well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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