Sober January is a disaster.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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