Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
