i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
