If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
