I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
3pm strippers are depressing
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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