giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
