Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
