PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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