Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
