he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
