The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize