he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
soo... how was my night?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
