I am in a vortex of obligation.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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