oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
