Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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