2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Just high enough for therapy.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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