Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
