When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
