Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
