My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
handjob tips. give me some.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize