Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
