Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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