batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
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