I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
