Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
