I think scott just propositioned me for sex
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Green mimosas i think yes
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
