I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
