I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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