My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
