my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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