On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
