i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
