spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
