I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I am midnight drunk by noon
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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